Four years ago during a medicine ceremony I journeyed over two nights through many different experiences as womankind, living and feeling all the pains and pressures, the violence and ways of survival, through many ages.
At the time I did not fully know why I was taken on that journey, but in the months that followed what began to unfold was the work I do today. I was tuned to work with women, with the feminine, to be able to read and guide women. That's not to say in this like I am a woman, nor that I fully understand, but I follow my guidance with those I work with. The work naturally developed to include men too over time. In the following years I have had journeys around the feminine but not often with Mother.
What would be born from a Golden Temple (womb), but only a Golden Race.
Snakes have been presented to me regularly as teachers and often as the Divine Mother. The snake has been an ancient symbol which has been used for thousands of years and there are many interpretations of its meaning, the most common being representing rebirth by shedding its skin, also rising kundalini energy and the third eye on Tutankhamun's forehead. But I suggest not looking “out there” for what she means to other people, but within, to what she means to you.
Ingest all, process all, digest all, transmute all
With International Women’s Day upon us, I felt moved to say a few words about periods.
This may read a bit clunky, after-all I am a man. I don’t have to suffer the struggle of a monthly cycle, the range of emotion from passion to frustration to despair, the physical pulls for perhaps food or wild sex, or simply touch, and on to exhaustion.
I regularly encounter women who are embarrassed by their period, there is shame attached. Naturally around this time you may feel emotional and more sensitive, but you can work here in this place. You meet your shadow each month. The shadow is not separate to your cycle, they are one and the same.
She is fully alive and flowing, sensitive and sensual.
A couple weeks back I wrote an Instagram post on receiving my sword in a holotropic breathwork session. Today's post covers a trip to Dowth, a sacred site in Ireland, where a couple years ago I received my crown in an initiation. Dowth, and more famously Newgrange are Irish sites older than the Egyptian pyramids and Stonehenge. Dowth is a collapsed cairn or tomb, in an area of Ireland where there are many of these sites, some really overrun with tourism. But Dowth is often quiet, not many people go there, you can drive up a narrow country road, pull in to the side and simply walk into the field and walk around.
Myself and a friend had been visiting a few of these sites regularly when guided to. Dowth to us had been revealed as the home of what we termed as Dark Mother, the shadow of Mother, the frustrated, manipulated, manipulative, abandoned, undesired, unfulfilled side of the feminine.
It’s the spring equinox, and later this evening the full moon peaks.
Earlier I felt I needed to be still. I sat in the dark, as I do often, and observed within.
I became aware of fierce tension in my upper back and neck.
I stayed present with it and allowed it to lock with tightness. I witnessed it, the tension, the energy, the frequency as being. I welcomed it and assured it I was not going anywhere. I would stay there forever in that state, I had no place to go. This raging frequency within me was and is my priority.
I invited it to live within my heart and assured it that we were one.
Out of the chaos came the light. Out of the will came life. - The Egyptian Book of the Dead
Twelve years ago I was in a Ramtha retreat high in the Italian mountains, far away from anywhere. After a focus exercise, I stopped breathing for what felt like minutes. I mean three or four minutes. My body didn’t breathe, I had no need to breathe. I didn’t plan or intend this, my mind was elsewhere until I realised my body was no longer breathing, so I lay there and observed the stillness, until the breath began again.
If you're invested in security and certainty, you are on the wrong planet.
— Pema Chödrön
How do we get to a higher human experience? How about a higher relationship with a mate truly on our level? Or a career that is totally purposeful and fulfilling? Or sex that is passionate and free of any hangups or insecurities, shame or guilt? To feel free around others, without social pressure, to be at ease? How do we work towards heaven on earth?
A person hears only what they understand. - Goethe
I think our journey, certainly as human beings, consists of two overall stages, the journey away from ourselves, to expand, to play, to grow and be tested. And then a second stage, the journey back home, to return to ourselves. Both stages I imagine can take many many lifetimes.
Freedom meant one thing to him - home. But they wouldn't let him go home.
The last week has been a (perfect) mess, I feel I'm wading through oil at times. To give you an idea of how I ended up here, what it looks like, and how I get through it, read on.
As I discussed in my previous article about the mirror, There Is No Spoon, all the challenges in your life you invited. Your Higher Self is sending these people that challenge, irritate, anger you, they are gifts, they play a role and mirror your own consciousness, the vibration that arises within you, is within you, and being shown to you for you to heal it. What you see before your eyes is entirely a physical reflection of your consciousness, all of it.
Feeling stuck, or stagnant, is when we are less aware of the lessons being sent. There are no days off. The Higher Self has not taken a break for a few months to let us claw around in the dark. We are immersed in feedback. Often feeling stuck is simply because we have not found the courage to take action, and often many of us will wait until we have no choice, until we are backed into a corner. I was that guy and probably will be again. And that's okay, lessons come in waves, it takes practise to read the wave.