Recently I have been contemplating the theory that our lives and decisions are predetermined. The idea that something, consciousness is steering my life. I don't mean "I am being guided". I mean choices are being presented in every moment, who or what is presenting these choices? Gary Weber, in a number of his talks discusses predestination in more detail, but points out in some tests the brain responds to a problem, before the problem is presented. This might explain how we "just knew..." someone was going to phone, or had that feeling, or intuition. It suggests that our brains are already milliseconds or seconds behind what is continuously unfolding in consciousness.
You can will what you want, you can't will what you will. - Gary Weber
This is Part 3 of a 3 part series on my first ayahuasca experience. I strongly suggest reading the first two parts as they lead up to this final post. Part 1 available here covers what ayahuasca is, its effects and my knowledge of the ceremony before I first drank it.
Part 2 is available here and covers the journey that led me to the experience in this article. There will also be audio files further describing the journey coming soon.
I'll skip straight to my journey, other than to say this was a closed group of people in Ireland, some of whom have a lot of experience with the medicine. I was the only first timer present that night. We sat in a circle on couches and armchairs, each with a basin and roll of kitchen tissue at our feet. I had a brief discussion before hand with the person organising the medicine to arrive at a suitable dose for my first time.
Soon it was time for a brief talk about ayahuasca, suggestions such as try to stay in the room, where the toilet was and so on. We were encouraged to try to keep the medicine down for forty minutes if possible, this gives it time to be fully absorbed into the system and do its best work. From my preparation I knew that vomiting was likely, or purging as it is called, and heard mixed descriptions of the taste. There would be music played loudly throughout (although I was barely aware of it), more tribal or didgeridoo, specially selected to take us on a journey, so the end of the fifth track would indicate forty minutes. There is no dancing, little or no talking, people observe their own inward journey.
This was an incredible, demonic experience, incomparable to anything I had ever previously encountered.
This is Part 2 of a 3 part series on my first ayahuasca experience. Part 1 available here which covers what ayahuasca is, its effects and my knowledge of the ceremony before I first drank it.
Part 3 you can find here. There will also be audio files further describing the journey coming soon.
I would say I've felt driven to be free for all of my life. At times a burning desire to understand life and to experience the expansion of mind beyond this physical reality. Despite much contemplation, around twenty four years of meditation, ten of which I practised twice daily, never missing a meditation, I've meditated on trains, planes, in toilet cubicles, any quiet space I could find to keep to my daily discipline. I've practised all manner of techniques on releasing stress and furthering my spiritual evolution: EFT, Ho'oponopono, Native American Sweat lodges, Floatation Tanks, Energy Healing, different forms of yoga, many forms of meditation, spiritual retreats in different parts of the world, taken courses on philosophy, Gnosticism, astral travel, among others, received many sessions of massage, Craniosacral Therapy, acupuncture... and on and on it goes. All have been helpful to some degree, they got me over a hump perhaps to continue on in search of deeper fulfilment and a number I continue to practise regularly to this day. I’ve always asked questions, got easily frustrated with life and bored with the day to day as I see it. I was bored with life long before I hit my teens. Never sure if I was just doing it wrong, or on a different path in search of a different experience than what we are bombarded with in today's society. I've found it much harder to trust my own voice and direction, something that is changing with age, than to find the path that is best suited to me.
I began to explore the possibilities of multiple realities coexisting simultaneously.