A couple weeks back I wrote an Instagram post on receiving my sword in a holotropic breathwork session. Today's post covers a trip to Dowth, a sacred site in Ireland, where a couple years ago I received my crown in an initiation. Dowth, and more famously Newgrange are Irish sites older than the Egyptian pyramids and Stonehenge. Dowth is a collapsed cairn or tomb, in an area of Ireland where there are many of these sites, some really overrun with tourism. But Dowth is often quiet, not many people go there, you can drive up a narrow country road, pull in to the side and simply walk into the field and walk around.
Myself and a friend had been visiting a few of these sites regularly when guided to. Dowth to us had been revealed as the home of what we termed as Dark Mother, the shadow of Mother, the frustrated, manipulated, manipulative, abandoned, undesired, unfulfilled side of the feminine.
We have experienced periods in this life and previously when we felt more connected to the earth, to nature, and to ourselves, to our instinct, our spirit, in tune with life, in the flow. This is the beauty of being in tune with the Inner World, not lost in it imagining light bubbles and chakras, but in harmony.
Our lives in the modern world especially are so busy, and so full of distractions that it's understandable that we can get sucked into the Outer World, the physical plane, and think that our experience represents who we are.
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakens. - Carl Jung
It’s the spring equinox, and later this evening the full moon peaks.
Earlier I felt I needed to be still. I sat in the dark, as I do often, and observed within.
I became aware of fierce tension in my upper back and neck.
I stayed present with it and allowed it to lock with tightness. I witnessed it, the tension, the energy, the frequency as being. I welcomed it and assured it I was not going anywhere. I would stay there forever in that state, I had no place to go. This raging frequency within me was and is my priority.
I invited it to live within my heart and assured it that we were one.
Out of the chaos came the light. Out of the will came life. - The Egyptian Book of the Dead
Twelve years ago I was in a Ramtha retreat high in the Italian mountains, far away from anywhere. After a focus exercise, I stopped breathing for what felt like minutes. I mean three or four minutes. My body didn’t breathe, I had no need to breathe. I didn’t plan or intend this, my mind was elsewhere until I realised my body was no longer breathing, so I lay there and observed the stillness, until the breath began again.
If you're invested in security and certainty, you are on the wrong planet.
— Pema Chödrön
How do we get to a higher human experience? How about a higher relationship with a mate truly on our level? Or a career that is totally purposeful and fulfilling? Or sex that is passionate and free of any hangups or insecurities, shame or guilt? To feel free around others, without social pressure, to be at ease? How do we work towards heaven on earth?
A person hears only what they understand. - Goethe
I think our journey, certainly as human beings, consists of two overall stages, the journey away from ourselves, to expand, to play, to grow and be tested. And then a second stage, the journey back home, to return to ourselves. Both stages I imagine can take many many lifetimes.
Freedom meant one thing to him - home. But they wouldn't let him go home.
As I discussed in my previous article about the mirror, There Is No Spoon, all the challenges in your life you invited. Your Higher Self is sending these people that challenge, irritate, anger you, they are gifts, they play a role and mirror your own consciousness, the vibration that arises within you, is within you, and being shown to you for you to heal it. What you see before your eyes is entirely a physical reflection of your consciousness, all of it.
Feeling stuck, or stagnant, is when we are less aware of the lessons being sent. There are no days off. The Higher Self has not taken a break for a few months to let us claw around in the dark. We are immersed in feedback. Often feeling stuck is simply because we have not found the courage to take action, and often many of us will wait until we have no choice, until we are backed into a corner. I was that guy and probably will be again. And that's okay, lessons come in waves, it takes practise to read the wave.
There's plenty of articles and videos online right now about the Solar Eclipse due in a few days. And there are far more qualified people than I to explain what will occur, and perhaps what it all means. So I won't take you down that path.
I will just point out that during some of these larger solar or astrological changes I have noticed myself to be under a little or a lot more pressure. Often with these changes we think of energy upgrades and downloads of new information and abilities. The internet points out all the glowing ascension stuff with lots of fluffy terminology. That's all well and good and may well be the case. But often, not always, these shifts can knock us for a few days. My own experience is that most of my own upgrades have come at a price, after challenging dark ceremonies or periods of recovery, I managed to crawl out of the woods a little wiser or lighter than before.
Dreaming and visualisation is wonderful, but action is what changes your world.
Over a recent weekend I entered into a couple of deeper works, a Holotropic Breathwork day on Saturday, my fourth this year, and I received DMT in ceremony on Monday, my first time with this medicine. In the days after I can feel I'm wide open, irritable, vulnerable, sensitive, and the reflection is palpable. When I tune in, become present and conscious, I can see what has been placed before me is intentional, and purposeful for my awareness and growth, certainly not random. The sense of an expanded consciousness is both invigorating and frightening. The familiar world view is comfortable, the confusion of that falling away is unnerving and leads to the "am I going mad?" thought from time to time. But out of this new unexplored state, comes new ideas and perceptions, a small step further into awareness of my path, of who and what I am, of what this place is.
Expansion is now
Some changes happening with the healing work I do. As this work evolves I am seeing how best to tailor it, to hopefully give those I work with the best experience, and to honour the work itself. I am humbled and honoured to do this work with whoever comes my way.